Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The 25 Lamest Super Powers

1. The ability to perfectly imitate the sounds your grandparents make when having sex.

2. The ability to instantly, and irreversibly, make all of your friends and family hate you.

3. The ability to drink alcohol but never feel its effects.

4. The ability to hook up with whomever you want, but only at a funeral.

5. The ability to piss blood on demand. (Submitted by @WorthlessAdvice)

6. The ability to have a seizure every time you orgasm.

7. The ability to shape-shift, but only into a pile of shit. (Submitted by @AshBeacs)

8. The ability to name off, in alphabetical order, the name of every single pornography film ever made.

9. The ability to instantly hate anyone who tries to befriend you. (Submitted by @RobynJRobyn)

10. The ability to grow stretch marks but not get rid of them.

11. The ability to speak in every language the person you're speaking with is unable to communicate in.

12. The ability to shake exactly 2 Aspirin out of a bottle, every single time.

13. The ability to transform into your mother's wash cloth.

14. The ability to impregnate any female you look at. (Submitted by @RobynJRobyn)

15. The ability to turn into a ginger kid on demand.

16. The ability to smell period blood within your immediate vicinity.

17. The ability to spontaneously combust and die.

18. The ability to grow your nipple hair to any length, on demand.

19. The ability to smell strongly like any type of Doritos.

20. The ability to reach out and find your glass of water in the dark beside your bed, every time without having to look.

21. The ability to smell people's breath from miles away.

22. The ability to make kites fly even if it isn't windy.

23. The ability to always lose at everything you do. Sports, video games etc.

24. The ability to assume the form of a cockroach.

25. The ability to projectile vomit every time you say something funny at a party.

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