Vaclav Havel:
Vaclav Havel was the first president of the Czech Republic. He assisted the resistance movement during the invasion of his country and later in life became the first president of the Czech people. Havel was at the front of the human rights movement his entire life and will forever be remembered by not only the Czech people but also by many other Europeans for his lifelong commitment to equality and freedom.
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| Vaclav Havel October 5th 1936 - December 18th 2011 |
Osama bin Laden:
Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was the leader/founder of the Islamist militant group known as Al Qaeda. Al Qaeda was responsible for several mass-murders, including the September 11th 2001 terrorist attack on the United States. Although most know him as a fugitive of Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. He had 6 wives and has been said to have fathered between 20-26 children. The man was responsible for death and destruction worldwide, which was an ironic thing considering his self-proclaimed reason for being such a religious fanatic and jihadist was that "foreign oppression kills my people and destroys our homes" -- a statement he had made on more than one occasion. On May 2nd of this year, CIA operatives and Navy Seal Team Six assaulted his private compound in the mountains of Pakistan, where they shot and killed him. Being the heroic leader that he was, he took one of his wives and used her as a human shield, placing her between himself and the US soldiers. Al Qaeda admitted his death four days later, ending a short-lived controversy of the world's skepticism as to whether or not Osama bin Laden was actually dead. A fitting end for a cowardly leader who ran and hid from real battle, prolonging his life long enough to cause the US to occupy two countries in the search for him and launch a special operation in a third country to finally send him to his Heaven where 72 fat, World of Warcraft playing virgins are awaiting his arrival.
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| Osama bin Laden, seen here performing karaoke, was killed May 2nd 2011 and nobody really gives a shit when he was born so I'm not going to list it. |
Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Il was the 'Supreme Leader' (dictator, that was just one of the many names he gave himself) of North Korea. Under his rule, the people of N.K. suffered, starved and lived in poverty-stricken locations while Kim Jong spent upwards to 800,000 dollars a year on Cognac alone, among other things. The man was weird, having kidnapped a South Korean filmmaker and his wife to do his own version of his favourite movie; Godzilla, having his media lie to the population on several occasions saying things such as him golfing 36 under par with 18 hole-in-ones et cetera. Kim Jong was a notable death mainly because a lot of people seemed to somehow not know who he was, despite the fact that he was one of the United States biggest threats, having threatened the use of nuclear arms on multiple occasions. When Kim Jong Il died, the jokes started flying and rather than give more of a synopsis of his shitty, theatrical life, I'd rather share some of my personal favourite jokes:
1) Kim Jong Il's biggest regret in life was not fulfilling his true potential as Kim Jong Healthy.
2) North Korean's are going to commemorate Kim Jong's passing by staging a hunger strike...that began 50 years ago.
3) In lieu of flowers Kim Jong's family has asked that you please starve a person to death in his memory.
4) There are more "Kim Jong Il" jokes being produced than their is food in North Korea.
5) North Koreans are currently describing Kim Jong Il as "dead" and "delicious"
6) North Koreans only attended Kim Jong Il's funeral because they heard there were going to be sandwiches.
7) I can only imagine the forced emotions the people of Korea are feeling right now with Kim Jong's passing.
8) Apparently Kim Jong's death brought a wave of sadness and despair, or as North Koreans call it, "Tuesday".
9) Thanks to Facebook and Twitter we have made every Kim Jong Il joke possible. I'm sure the people of North Korea will appreciate it, if they ever get the internet.
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| This is Kim Jong Il looking at a piece of corn. Official statement of his death was that he died at the age of 21 and will be flying to Heaven all by himself, despite being ronery, oh so ronery. |
Steve Jobs:
Steve Jobs is considered to be one of the pioneers of the personal computer revolution. Only in the first world could a revolution be defined via everyone owning a personal computer, but I digress. He assisted in inventing a large amount of Apple's most successful products which has directly caused many people I used to like to turn into self-entitled dickheads who brag about their phone. His greatest accomplishment by far was creating Pixar Animation Studios which went on to create Toy Story. If you don't know what Toy Story is then click the big red 'X' at the top right of your web page, right now. Steve Jobs was seemingly a hard-working family man and so naturally when he died the world was a bit taken aback. The absurd amount of media coverage his death received really speaks volumes about how pathetic our way of life is, when one man dies and millions of Apple-product-toting dickheads cry, but everyday the money we spend on these materialistic unnecessary piece-of-shit phones and effeminately named iPad's could be saving millions of people - people that nobody cries about.
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| Steve Jobs February 24th 1955 -- October 5th 2011 |
Muammar Gaddafi:
Gaddafi was a ruthless dictator who took power during a bloody coup in 1969. During his tyrannical reign he was responsible for abolishing the Libyan constitution, which he replaced with a guide of his own political ideals. Gaddafi was responsible for terrorism against his own people and abroad, such as bringing down a France Airlines flight in 1989. He oppressed his people during his long rule until revolutions in neighbouring countries of Egypt and Tunisia inspired the Libyan people to rise up and revolt. After months of fighting, with NATO forces assisting the rebels, Gaddafi was captured and killed. His body was then put on display for any and all who wanted to come stare at his maimed corpse. Taking a tyrant and executing him without fair trial and then maiming his corpse while publicly displaying it should be a good indicator of just how little progress the people of Libya have made in overthrowing their previous leader. If all behaviour is learned then it's a safe bet that by being oppressed, his underlings will know no better when it's their turn to seize power. The western media portrayed the revolution as just and glamorous, a downtrodden people taking what is rightfully their's. The actual truth may not be so clean and cut, and despite the world ridding itself of yet another evil tyrant in 2011, the troubles of the Libyan people are decades from being over.
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| Someone should tell him that wearing a picture of your family on your military suit is a fashion faux pas. |
Ryan Dunn:
Ryan Dunn was an American daredevil who, with the help of the Jackass and CKY crew, redefined entertainment with their own unique brand of hilarious and often obnoxious stunts. Ryan Dunn was featured in all three Jackass films, played the main character in the 2003 film "Haggard" and co-hosted Viva la Bam and hosted Homewrecker and Proving Ground. He died at the age of 34 in what the media called "an alcohol-related accident" which is the bullshit, politically correct way of saying drunk driving. A brilliant young showman and daredevil killed because despite his small fortune, he obviously didn't feel like paying for a cab ride. Ryan Dunn was an underrated talent and will definitely be missed by all those with a sense of humour, and scorned by everyone lacking one. (The Religious Right-wing)
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| This man was part of the greatest, most entertaining group of idiots known to man. Rest in Peace. |
Patrice O'neal:
Patrice was the type of comedian we need the most -- fearless. Describing the hilarious differences between blacks and whites, letting us know that while racism is wrong, differences between races can be hilarious. The best way to describe this man would be to let you watch this video describing how to tell how pretty a white woman is.
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| Patrice Oneal - Like a bawse! "If I ever go fishing I'm going to take a cute white baby with me, that way if the boat tips they'll find me for sure!" |
Christopher Hitchens:
Christopher Hitchens was the greatest journalist, author and orator of our lifetime. If you are alive and reading this right now, you can proudly say to yourself "I lived when Christopher Hitchens lived." He was an incomparable critic, masterful rhetorician, fiery wit and fearless bon vivant. He was more hilarious, engaged, intelligent and observant than anyone else, at the end and for the last four decades. As the writer of several books, most notably his best-seller "God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything", a journalist, columnist for Vanity Fair and Slate, as well as a fearless orator and skilled debater who never backed down from a chance to show the absurdity and immorality of religious thought. He was the greatest writer of our time and his video-recorded debates and written pieces will be held in high esteem for centuries to come, just like his biggest influences (Socrates and Jefferson). His words have helped push back the tide of religious fundamentalism, have opened millions of eyes worldwide to the dangers of Islamist fascism, and he has done more good in this world than any religious person, ever, to date. Which shows precisely what he said so eloquently all these years; you do not need religion to be a morally right individual.
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| Christopher Hitchens April 13th 1949 - December 15th 2011. Pictured here with his cigarettes and the smokiest of scotch, Johnny Walker. For more on the Hitch, including a brief summation of his best quotes, click here. Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment or head on over to my Twitter page right here: https://twitter.com/#!/ChrispyPaul |
