Tuesday, April 10, 2012
1. The ability to perfectly imitate the sounds your grandparents make when having sex.
2. The ability to instantly, and irreversibly, make all of your friends and family hate you.
3. The ability to drink alcohol but never feel its effects.
4. The ability to hook up with whomever you want, but only at a funeral.
5. The ability to piss blood on demand. (Submitted by @WorthlessAdvice)
6. The ability to have a seizure every time you orgasm.
7. The ability to shape-shift, but only into a pile of shit. (Submitted by @AshBeacs)
8. The ability to name off, in alphabetical order, the name of every single pornography film ever made.
9. The ability to instantly hate anyone who tries to befriend you. (Submitted by @RobynJRobyn)
10. The ability to grow stretch marks but not get rid of them.
11. The ability to speak in every language the person you're speaking with is unable to communicate in.
12. The ability to shake exactly 2 Aspirin out of a bottle, every single time.
13. The ability to transform into your mother's wash cloth.
14. The ability to impregnate any female you look at. (Submitted by @RobynJRobyn)
15. The ability to turn into a ginger kid on demand.
16. The ability to smell period blood within your immediate vicinity.
17. The ability to spontaneously combust and die.
18. The ability to grow your nipple hair to any length, on demand.
19. The ability to smell strongly like any type of Doritos.
20. The ability to reach out and find your glass of water in the dark beside your bed, every time without having to look.
21. The ability to smell people's breath from miles away.
22. The ability to make kites fly even if it isn't windy.
23. The ability to always lose at everything you do. Sports, video games etc.
24. The ability to assume the form of a cockroach.
25. The ability to projectile vomit every time you say something funny at a party.
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Thursday, April 5, 2012
But out of all the world's water, only 2.5% is fresh water. Unfortunately, over 98% of that total fresh water is frozen in remote, difficult to reach areas. In other words, fresh water is becoming so scarce it has become a commodity, and like with any sought-after-product, corporations are going to control it to make a profit.
Through the last two decades, studies have shown that because of a few isolated incidents, North Americans have become increasingly worried about the safety of their tap water. This, along with information promoting 'healthy, active living', has created an enormous boom in the popularity of bottled water.
Pepsi and Coca-Cola have actually created the tap water scare. Using their massive control over the market, they have bullied restaurant owners into no longer giving out tap water at all. As well as paying newspaper and magazine companies to publish articles about the very few-and-far-between cases where someone is made sick from tap water. "...when we're done, tap water will be relegated to irrigation and washing dishes" said the Vice President of Pepsi in 2000.
Bottled water appears convenient, is seemingly affordable, and is the second most popular beverage in North America right now. In fact, Americans are now drinking more bottled water each year than milk or beer. Incidentally, as North Americans have embraced this past decades "health kick" by drinking less Soda beverages than ever before, they have turned to alternatives like bottled water, which are being sold by Soda companies themselves. Did you know that Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Nestle created and promoted the bottled water fad, and are the people responsible for flooding the information waves with facts about how unhealthy their own products are for you? If you've ever heard anything in the media that claims Coke is unhealthy, the odds are that Coca-Cola paid for that to be there in the first place, in order to promote its newest product: bottled water.
In reality, the seemingly convenient bottle of water isn't really all that convenient when you consider the fact that one bottle of water takes over 700 years to decompose.
As far as being affordable is concerned, it appears affordable to the average consumer, when in fact:
-tap water costs $0.0015 per gallon
-bottled water costs $10.00 per gallon
-that's 10,000 times the cost of tap water
Coca-Cola doesn't need Coke to sell, owning bottled water companies is their new targeted source of income:
-Americans consume over 9 billion gallons of bottled water annually (53 billion gallons consumed globally)
-Which generates over 61 billion dollars per year
Take into consideration that an average bottle of water holds 19 ounces = 6 1/2 bottles of water per gallon. That means that in one year, 318 billion bottles of water are consumed. This is leading to a global waste catastrophe unlike any that has ever been seen before.
Why you should stop drinking bottled water:
-with water becoming harder to access in developing countries, water has been deemed "Blue Gold" and the phrase "Water Wars" has been coined. Buying bottled water is feeding corporations money they need to further promote water as a commodity, which will feed the coming Water Wars -- access to water is a basic human right
-bottled water is not tested as often, or for as many things as tap water is (E.Coli is tested for in tap water, but not in bottled water). In fact, bottled water is allowed to be tested in-house, by the same companies that sell it. Self-regulation does not work, history has proven this to be true time and time again.
-40% of all bottled water is from municipal sources (you're getting ripped off)
-22% of all bottled water that is tested (which is less than 70% of the total distributed bottled water each year) contains contamination levels well above the strict health regulations these companies are exempt from
-17 million barrels of oil are used in the manufacturing of bottled water each year, which is enough to fuel 1 million cars for an entire year
-due to the production process, it takes 3x the amount of water to produce a bottle as it does to fill it
-companies brag that "all plastic water bottles are recyclable" but statistics collected show that only 1 in 5 water bottles are ever recycled
-where do the other four go? They help contribute to the 3 billion pounds of waste that water bottles create every year
It is outrageous that while developing countries struggle to find clean drinking water, developed countries like the US and Canada (who have their own already-provided clean drinking sources) waste more water and other resources, for the sake of greed; by selling even more clean water to people who already have it, at a further increased cost.
Don't be a part of the problem, be a responsible citizen.
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